Two of the cast of the show that will definitely dominate next year, Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power, are on stage, with Markella Kavanagh giving us our second Australian accent of the night. Hey I’m in charge here.
Lizzo won for her dancing reality show Watch Out for the Big Girls, and had to change up that amazing outfit on stage to receive her award. “I need my older girls on stage right now,” she screams and weeps bitterly. “When I was a little girl I wanted to see someone like me in the media, fat like me, black like me, beautiful like me. If I could go back in time I would tell myself that you want to see that person.” But bitch, it’ll be you.
Her big Grylls (contestants of the show) are at the back and having the time of their lives.
Seyfried won for her performance as Elizabeth Holmes in The Dropout. His slightly terrified speech makes me feel like they might be writing threats on the teleprompter to prompt anyone to stay longer than 20 seconds.
Freddie Highmore, who plays the Doctor on a show that no one watches, thanks the doctors for being the Doctor, then moves on to the award announcement. Of the seven nominees in this category, five are in the White Lotus and the queen wins: Jennifer Coolidge.
“Oh hey, hi,” murmurs Coolidge, then kicks in his wonderful way. “I took a lavender bath tonight and it made me swell inside my dress, I’m having a hard time speaking. It’s so thrilling — at first, oh shit I didn’t think it was going to happen,” he laughs she says, uncontrollably in a slurred speech. The music begins: “Oh wait, it’s a once in a lifetime thing – I’m full, I’m full!” she says, before dancing fearlessly to the play-off music.
I love her We all love him. Let’s put that in everything.
Okay, we’re into an hour and we’ve got our first Will Smith slap joke. I appreciate the patience.
There was just one weird extended movie promoting both the editors’ work and a certain brand of car, which I won’t mention here because they’re not paying us bloody to advertise, are they. It earned some confusing accolades at the Microsoft Theater in Los Angeles. It makes me feel good that even millionaires with gold figurines are looking at this stuff.
Steve Martin, Selena Gomez and Martin Short present the award, reminding everyone why they’re so excellent together at Only Murders in the Building and everyone has the slightest wish they were hosting.
John Oliver wins anyway; British comedians kneel in front of Martin and Short as he receives their statues. He also notes the punishment clock in his speech, adding that it says “Stop Now” in capital letters. I’ve decided I like this breakneck speed, however please pray for the Guardian subeditors to correct all my spelling in these posts.
Lorne Michaels takes to the stage to receive the award while thanking the cast for “showing all” during the pandemic. This is SNL’s 87th Emmy win. That’s right.
We all know Lizzo can wear a big dress like anyone else, but I think it needs its own post.
The British actor won the gong for two years in a row, winning for his role as footballer Roy Kent in Ted Lasso. He apologizes for the swearing-in last year, which apparently cut off broadcasts in the UK – and immediately swears again, bless.
Sherrill Lee Ralph takes the stage in tears and, unexpectedly, leads a spirited presentation of Endangered Species by Diane Reeves, earning a standing ovation. Has anyone seen Abbott Elementary? I want to start watching Abbott Elementary.
According to Julia Garner’s speech, it appears that the Emmys are changing everyone faster than usual by asking everyone for thanks in advance. I can’t say that I hate it, but it feels weird too.
In case you missed it earlier this week, our very own Adrian Horton in America wrote about who should win today — and who will win. As for the ceremony’s top prize — Outstanding Drama — she predicts the Emmy-favorite succession will win, but Severance, who made her Emmy debut this year, should win. Let’s see if he’s right!
Garner thanked her co-stars Jason Bateman and Laura Linney, and was terrified of the countdown; Oddly enough, the bottom of the screen also describes how she wants to thank her husband, Mark. Didn’t have time to mention Mark? Is it just me, or is this all moving at an unusual, breakneck pace?
Everyone’s favorite punching bag (Tom) wins the Best Supporting Actor award and takes to the stage, perhaps surprising some Americans with his perfectly clipped English accent in the process. In true tom fashion, that too stops.
Australian winner! Sorry, I’m going to be overjoyed for a while. Bartlett deservedly won for his outstanding performance in The White Lotus, which included, among other things, defecating in a suitcase.
Bartlett looks thrilled and thanks Mike White, a mid-wine glut, and his mother “at home in Australia for giving me the ultimate foundation in unconditional love”. Oh.
Birdman hugs Oprah Winfrey as she walks on stage.
“I have some doubts—and you know what? We’re cool,” he says, before thanking the “true believers,” to laughter and applause: “I love you man.”
Good morning and evening wherever you are in the world – My name is Sean Cain and I am writing from Melbourne, Australia. Today is the 2022 Emmy Awards held in downtown Los Angeles, which signifies the best in television. Following the pattern of the past few years, of course we are for one night dominated by a Better Call Saul ad succession of, more frankly, Ted Lasso.
But we’ve got some newcomers too: Severance, the Apple TV+ hit drama with 14 nominations this year, as well as Yellowjackers and Squid Game, the first non-English-language nominees for the Emmys for Outstanding Drama Series.
In true Emmys fashion, we’ve started with a funny dance number dedicated to TV, featuring host Kenan Thompson in bodypopping leading dancers in Game of Thrones footage. Yes, I don’t know either.